Eva Joy and I remained at the table the other night to finish dinner. Leon and Asher had gone upstairs to get ready for bed. To make conversation with my 2-year-old daughter, I asked her what she thought about the colour of my hair I’d recently dyed.
“It’s blue,” she says.
Blue hair?? Really? I’ve always joked about dying my hair purple, and I was excited to find “burgundy,” which was kind of a blackcurrant, purple-ish colour.
So what does the colour of my hair have to do with my word for 2017?
Every year for the past few years, I chose a word to live by for the entire year. I guess you could say it’s sort of a mantra or a resolution. I confess I usually don’t make it past February before I forget the word I chose and move on, but last year was different.
My word last year was hope. After a rough 6-month journey with a difficult pregnancy and a medically fragile baby, it seemed the most logical word to go with. Actually, I chose it by accident when someone sent me Nancy Guthrie’s One Year Book of Hope. But God used the word profoundly in my life. I learned about hope in so many unexpected ways and saw it from a different perspective. God used hope as a healing balm for my broken heart.
So now I needed to come up with a word for 2017. I had a hard time coming up with a word because I felt my Year of Hope was going to be a tough act to follow. I prayed through various words and things I felt God wanted me to learn and grow in this year. I came up with words, but they didn’t really fit what I felt God was prompting me to do. So I took to Google to see what words other people were living by this year. Then I found it. The word I’d tried to think of, but couldn’t.
This year will be a Year of Yes.
It isn’t what you think. The last 18 months have been shrouded by a dark cloud of grief, depression and anxiety. I also experienced a facet of grief that I would have never imagined. Our son died, and I felt like a part of my heart died with him. There’s no easy way to describe it, but grief is sometimes a journey of learning to live again after loss. I want to say yes to living again.
I’ve spent the last few months rediscovering myself. Because after 18 months of walking in the Fiery Furnace, I’ve lost who I am. Hence, the burgundy hair. Dying my hair is one way I’m rediscovering myself (aside from wanting to cover up the two or three grey hairs I have now… HA!). I also decided to explore my creative side more by trying new outlets. I’ve taken up photography again. I’m improving my sewing skills. I’m experimenting with other mediums.
What I pray my Year of Yes will mean:
- Saying yes to truly living.
- Saying yes to experiencing life with my husband and my children.
- Saying yes to self-care and self-discovery.
- Saying yes to exploring new things and taking risks.
- Saying yes to following what God has in store for the year.
That doesn’t mean I’ll become a doormat and say yes to everything. I don’t want to fill my diary or take on meaningless commitments just because I want to say yes. I want what God wants. (Believe me, that’s easier to write than to do!)