I never expected motherhood to be so heartachingly beautiful. When the journey began, all I had was the joyous wait of welcoming a new bundle. God met me in the labour of my first born, and as I read recently in the book ‘Surprised by Motherhood‘:
“A mother continues to labor long after the baby is born.” –Lisa-Jo Baker
It’s true that labour doesn’t end after delivery, but takes a different form. It seems like I’ve experienced a lot in my short 3.5 years of motherhood. I’ve had complications following delivery. Struggled with breastfeeding. Suffered a miscarriage. Carried and birthed a rainbow baby. Now I’m pregnant with a baby with multiple health problems.
God, in His goodness, is showing me His faithfulness through my struggles in motherhood. He’s showing me how the mess, the heartache, is beautiful.
We had another scan of our baby last week. The technology of 4-D ultrasound enabled us to get a real-time look at this new little person’s face. That image is forever burned on my heart. God created this little person — defects and all — in His image. God has been revealing to me His heart for children in the past few weeks.
The fact that our new baby is God’s image bearer, even with heart and tummy problems, is heartachingly beautiful. This child was created for His glory. I laid awake in bed on Friday night wrestling with pregnancy insomnia and replaying the events of our scan appointment that day. The images of our little one flashed through my memory. I was reminded that God makes all things beautiful in its time.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Truly, God makes everything beautiful, even this season we’re walking through. It’ll be messy and full of unknowns, but it’s still heartachingly beautiful.